Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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