We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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