DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
