so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
