I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize