Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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