im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
