I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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