On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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