HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
