We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He shit in the fireplace
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
