# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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