i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
