i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n