i think i have herpe
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.