With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize