Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
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he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
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Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.