Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter