But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
