i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Im part way to drunk.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize