i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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