Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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