Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
