Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
and you fell through a lawn chair
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
