Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
