Ambien. No doubt about it.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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