i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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