Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
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I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
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Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He did a backflip because drugs
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