I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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