Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
