I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize