i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
