Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
