3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
