haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
