Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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