you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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