Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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