i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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