Operation Purity has been aborted
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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