Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
