How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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