Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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