every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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