id be glad to
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
