You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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