hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
