I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we're making bets on your personal life
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize