This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
