i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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