Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
