We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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