dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
