i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
17 year olds will be the death of me.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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