I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
