Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
