dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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