well most of my day revolves around power hour
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just want to make out with him forever
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
