what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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