we have officially lost it.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
