I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize