Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
