dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
