I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
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I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
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he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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