How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
