Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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